Seek humility… ESV Zephaniah 2:3
I’m a pushover; my wife is a tow-the-liner. This one thing may have created the greatest tension in our marriage. The kids know I’ll generally approve anything. Mom is generally a stickler. Then we get together and find the common ground and go back to the kids unified. It’s a pretty standard cycle. However, every so often, something changes. On really rare occasions (like today), for whatever reason (I think I was tired and in a bad mood), I don’t approve anything and my wife approves everything. We went out to eat tonight. She approved chocolate milk and Sprite (I would have been good with water). She allowed the kids to stay up with us while we did Christmas cards (I would have sent them to bed). I write this because these things really encourage me and make for some of the best days of our marriage.
Marriage involves two opposite people coming together into one flesh. I think God must still be laughing at that one flesh part as it has probably created more tension and trouble for couples than anything else. However, I think the best part of becoming one flesh is that you learn from each other. If you are a pushover, you begin to see the weaknesses in your personality and realize you need to tighten up. If you are a tow-the-liner, you begin to see how that doesn’t always work and being looser on occasion is a good thing. All this only works though if you have humility. At first, it’s easier to see how your spouse is “wrong” in these areas instead of “strong.” Only by pursuing humility and genuinely considering the other as better than yourself in situations can you begin to see how their strengths really benefit that scenario (granted this isn’t always the case…but it will be about 50% of the time if we are completely honest). In humility then, we can learn from each other and even mimic each other at times.
For this reason, I love the days my wife approves things I wouldn’t. It helps me see we are both growing from each other and hopefully becoming more well-rounded individuals. May you learn from your spouse today and see their differences as strengths. It requires humility, but Christ grants us that through the gospel. Embrace His humility and thrive!