Catching Foxes

Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom. ESV Song of Solomon 2:15

Marriages fail. People drift apart. Affairs happen. Men get into porn. Women yearn for a more ideal situation. Dreams are dashed; love lessens; hearts harden; divorce is decreed. How did it happen you ask? Solomon tells us the little foxes spoiled the vineyards. Someone failed to catch the foxes.

Commentators generally agree the verse above explains Solomon’s bride’s desire to affair-proof her marriage. She and Solomon are in love, and she recognizes their “vineyards are in blossom.” Beautiful things are happening. However, every time beautiful things happen, the enemy works to destroy them. In the midst of blossoming vineyards, little foxes nip at the buds. Left unchecked, these foxes will destroy the blossoms, and ultimately the vineyard. What might these foxes be? Any of the little things in life that slowly erode our marriages. It could be the pressures of work, finances or kids. It could be turning to tv, internet, books, or hobbies each night instead of turning toward each other and connecting. It could be health, time, or emotional issues that gradually erode the intimate sexual relationship leaving us distant from each other. It may be the flirtatious co-worker, the friendly neighbor, the understanding (but opposite gender) friend. It may be the time we let our mind wander to thoughts of a “better fit for me,” or a “someone who gets me.” Foxes are small things that can create big damages. They must be caught before they spoil the vineyard.

May I encourage you to ruthlessly capture “foxes”? My wife and I realize that both of us will occasionally recognize a chemistry of sorts with members of the opposite gender. Anytime that happens, we immediately tell each other. This catches that fox, and prevents that potential chemistry from ever impacting our relationship. I utilize Covenant Eyes on my computer to assist in guarding me against the temptations of pornography. We spend about an hour together ever single night without fail. That time together is an attempt to catch foxes that may drive us apart. Good marriages take work. You will have to set a lot of fox traps. But know it’s worth it. Catch the foxes before they do their damage and leave you with the ruins of what was once a great marriage.

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