Doing Big Things for God

So I just finished the latest issue of Christianity today which usually leaves me sort of depressed because I am overwhelmed at the number of problems in the world and the amazing things God is doing to bring the world to Him. It makes me want to move to Africa, join a mega church or do some other “awesome” thing for God. However, as I have briefly reflected on this lately, I am reaching two conclusions. The first is that it’s not about doing a great thing for God, but rather about letting Him do a great thing in me. The main problem in my life is my own sinfulness, not that I’m not doing something big for God. Naturally this is not something I want to face, or work on, but that’s the Biblical truth. The fruits of the Spirit are all about overcoming works of the flesh and about God developing His character within me, not me saving the world for Christ.
The second thing that has really hit me is the enormous opportunities before me. It’s easy to read a sob story about starving children in Africa, and think of all the money in my bank account, food in my fridge, time on my hands and think “I’ve got to go take these resources to help them!” This may be a good idea, but at the same time, it forgets the wife that needs cherished, three and half kids that need to be instructed in the faith, 11 neighbors who don’t know the Lord, an entire community in my subdivision most of whom don’t know the Lord, 10,000 people within a ten mile drive and a wonderful church of which I became pastor at midnight last night. Talk about a huge challenge! More than the Africa stuff, God has equipped and resourced me for this particular opportunity right here. Satan can distract me with what seem to be more pressing issues elsewhere, but the reality is that in 2010, God has given me a challenge that is beyond comprehension: apply the gospel to myself, my wife, my kids, my neighbors, my church and my community. If God makes that happen this year, that will be a greater accomplishment than wiping out world hunger because that will be doing what I have been called to do. Sure it’s tempting to think about doing other things, but that’s not God’s will for my life.
Lord, keep me faithful to You this year. Work in my life that I might fully die to sin and live to righteousness. Be glorified through me.

The necessity of God’s mercy

I never cease to be amazed at how some of the more simple truths of the Bible are hidden from my view because of my sinful heart.  After twenty plus years of walking with the Lord, I am only now coming to understand the nature of sin and its impact on our relationship with the Lord.  Even in the Old Testament, I always assumed that sacrifices were to make us right with God.  However, the more I read of the OT, the more I am realizing that ultimately, we can do nothing to deal with our sin other than throw ourselves onto God’s mercy.

The Lord reminded me of this yet again this morning as I was reading Psalm 51, David’s classic confession after his sin with Bathsheba.  Every line of his confession is a beautiful testimony to God’s mercy, further proving that forgiveness cannot be earned by works or sacrifice.  Notice how the Psalm breaks down:

In vv. 1-2 David begins by pleading for mercy from God.  Interestingly enough, he never uses God’s covenenat name.  I’m not really sure what can be read into this, but it’s an interesting insight.  David’s request for mercy is based on God’s covenant love, His character.  We should request forgiveness based on the character of God, not our pentitence or our attempts at atonement.

In vv. 3-6 David acknowledges and fully confeses his sin, and two unique things struck me here.  First, while David seemed to sin against Bathsheba and Uriah, he realized that ultimately he had only sinned agianst God.  Too often in my own life I am burdened about the people I have sinned against, and I only think about my sin against God as an afterthought.  That was the first thought on David’s mind.  Secondly, David recognized that it wasn’t so much his specific sins that were the issue as it was the nature of his own sinfulness.  He confesses he was conceived in sin and that God wants not so much righteous action as “truth in the inward being.”  God is not so much concerne d with our specific sins as He is with our sinful hearts.

Vv. 7-12 are a cry to God for cleansing.  David brings nothing before the Lord to acheive forgiveness but rather throws himself on God’s mercy, recognizing God alone can cleanse him from his sin.  In fact, God’s cleansing would be so complete as to allow David to have joy where at the time he was only broken.  He considers the shame and despair he is feeling to be conviction from the Lord, and he asks that this conviction be replaced with joy in God’s salvation.  He realizes the fault resides within his own heart, and thus he asks God for a clean heart and a steadfast spirit that won’t turn aside to sin in the future.  He concludes this section by continually relying on God, asking for His upholding through His generosity (again appealing to the character of God).

In vv. 13-17 David begins to move beyond his sin to his response to God’s forgiveness.  Whereas I would make a deal with God that if He would forgive me I wouldn’t sin anymore, David on the other hand, tells God that if He will forgive him, then he would teach other sinners about God and they too would come to God for forgiveness.  David promises praise to God.  Notice there isn’t the typical “if you get me out of this mess, I won’t get into it again” kind of negotiation.  Rather there is the “if You change my heart I will work to bring others to know how awesome You are” promise.  This is what God is interested in anyway, so this is naturally the best way to gather God’s attention.  David concludes this section by reiterating to God again that there is nothing he can do to attain forgiveness by God.   Rather God only desires an upright heart, and that comes from Him alone.  In short, there is nothing David or we can do to merit any favor from God.

This line of thinking would lead us to think that there is no point in doing anything from God since He must do eveyrthing in our lives.  The last two verses set this thinking straight instructing us that once God has done good to us, we can respond in thanksgiving to Him with sacrifices in which He will delight.  If we believe our sacrifices will earn us favor with God we are deluded.  We must first gain favor with God by casting ourselves on His mercy, and then and only then, will He be pleased with our sacrifice of worship.

Again, this psalm hit me hard this morning as I considered how totally helpless I am before the Lord.  He and He alone can forgive, and that forgiveness is not based on anything I may bring to Him.  In fact, I can only bring Him satisfactory offerings after He has already forgiven me and I am living in light of His glorious grace and mercy.

Thank you Lord for Your awesome provision and character.  Be glorified in my life!

Righteousness

So I have always thought of myself as “the difficult child” or at least “the slow one” in God’s family because it seems to take me forever to learn the simple truths of God.  In reality I have learned (very slowly) over the past few years that this is indeed the case as God has been teaching me about my own sin and failures; and get this, because of my sin, I was too dumb to recognize what God was trying to teach me about my sin.  Weird huh?

In short, this is what God has opened my eyes to see: I’m really bad, the worst of sinners actually.  Of course, if you are like me, you read that and offer mental acknoledgment (“aren’t we all Robert”) but you don’t really feel it in your soul (at least I never really felt it in my soul).  Even now, I don’t know that I genuinely feel the depth of my sin before God.  Why is this I ask?

As best as I can tell, it’s because of my own sin, especially complicated by my strong sense of self-righteousness.  Since my early teen years I have had a tremendous desire to be Godly and to measure up to the Lord.  Hence, I began to search the Scriptures for appropriate actions to take, and gradually fell into greater and greater legalism.  Because of my journey, I have a huge soft spot in my heart for all those trapped in the bonds of legalism.  So many of them, like myself, honestly thought they were doing the right thing, thought they were measuring up to God, etc.  However, there was one thing missing, just a minor thing called the gospel.

How did I miss the gospel?  It seems like a no brainer, but the reality was that I had treated the gospel as a one-time occurance (and to a certain extent, this is correct: justification is immediate when God brings us to Himself and we accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior).  However, from that point on, the issue at stake is not to perfect our own righteousness as it is to live in Christ’s righteousness.  This is the point that I missed.

I often quoted James 4:16 “The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”  This led me to believe that if I could be righteous then my prayers would be effective.  Of course I prayed asking God to make me righteous, and I tried my best to be righteous.  The problem was that in all of my focus on this verse, I failed to reflect on Isa 64:6 “Our righteous deeds are like a poluted garment” and Rom 3:12 “none is righteous, no not one.”  Regardless of how hard I try to acheive any level of righteousness, I fall short.  Thus, I can never be confident in my prayers based on my own effort.

Another concern I had was that I genuinely believed that I had conquered most sins.  The only one that I “really” struggled with was lust, and I had deceived myself to the point that when I read lists of sins (like the works of the flesh in Gal 5) that I would only flag the ones on lust as having anything to do with me.  All the rest I would mentally check off and thank God that He had helped me to overcome those sins (even though I couldn’t even really remember ever doing them because I was such a healthy Christian).  I even knew the heart is deceitful above all things (Jer 17:9) and yet assumed it couldn’t deceive me.  The very next verse makes it clear the Lord searches and knows the heart and yet I assumed He found it as I did: pretty clean, considering how devoted I was to the Lord.

Fortunately throug the grace of God, He has slowly been using the Holy Spirit to open my eyes.  Honestly, I hate it!  I’ve never felt so sinful before.  I can’t decide if I have totally backslidden in my faith or just had my eyes opened to the truth.  It’s hard to say, but I tend to think it’s the latter because I still spend time daily with God.  My time with Him has changed though, because now it’s much more humiliating.  The Bible is more clear, more penetrating.  Could it be that now I read to be changed, rather than to further support my self-righteousness?

As I have been reflecting on the righteousness of Christ and realizing it has been imputed to me, the Holy Spirit has been opening my eyes to the real meaning of some of these passages.  The prayer of the righteous man in James?  That’s the man who’s faith (theme of the book) in the righteousness of Christ and is taking action (the second part of the theme) to live in that righteousness.  It’s not that we achieve the righteousness as much as we live it out.  My prayers are effective because I approach the throne through the righteousness of Christ.  In other words, it’s what Jesus said in John 14:13-14 “Whatever you ask in My name, this will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.”  Since a name encompasses all that someone is, asking something in Jesus name is about asking something in light of His righteousness.  We approach through His righteousness, we ask in accordance with His righteousness, and then He acts to demonstrate His righteousness.  It’s not something we tack onto the end of a prayer as a magic formula to get our prayers through to God.

So as I have begun to see my own sinfulness, the cross has looked more beautiful as it has become more and more my only hope, not just for salvation from sin, but for any righteous standing before God.  Now I can come to God, not in a mental ascent to the righteousness of Christ, but in a desperate yet firm stance in the total righteousness of Christ, seeing my self-rightousness nailed to His cross.  Believe it or not, He had to die for my attempts at righteousness, because since they were acted in my own accord and strength, they were in reality an attack on God’s sovereignty and holiness.  Ouch, that hurts.  My best efforts to please God is what nailed Jesus to the tree.

Have I fully acheived this stance of living in the grace of Christ?  Or course not.  I’ll never fully understand it until I meet Him face to face.  Has God called me to begin this jouney?  Indubitably so!  And in that I rejoice.  What an awesome priviledge to begin this exhilerating journey into the righteousness of Christ.  Oh to be found in Him, not having my own righteousness that comes through works but that which comes through faith in Christ–the rightousness that depends on God through faith (Philippians 3:9).

How God Works…

If you are reading this, it is most likely because you read the email about my resignation and wanted to learn more. Perhaps you want to know how to discern God’s leading in your life. Perhaps you want to know the “real reason” I left Philippi. Perhaps you are just bored and clicked because you always click on random links. Perhaps you stumbled on this blog and have no idea what I’m talking about. Well, here goes. (Warning…it’s pretty long!)

On my 13^th birthday my dad bought me a watch with Prov 3:5-6 inscribed on the back. He told me that from that time forward, I was to consider him more of a friend than a father and I was to learn to trust the Lord first for my direction in life. For the past 14 years the Lord has never failed me, and I can honestly say it’s been a fun and crazy ride. Things really got interesting shortly after Paula and I were married.

Our first home was in Dayton, TN, a tiny town of about 1,000 people in the middle of nowhere. I worked at our alma matter and we were a happy couple preparing to move to Dallas, TX and attend Dallas Theological Seminary. I had housing and job lined up and was ready for the adventure of seminary. I knew God had called me to pastor, and I knew I needed to go to seminary to pastor, and my dad and many of my professors had gone to DTS, so everything looked like a no-brainer. In November of 2001, I received a random call from my 5^th grade Sunday School teacher inviting me to come to Maryland as his “English pastor” whatever that was. Paula and I flew up to BWI the week after thanksgiving and had our first introduction to the Korean-American church. Honestly, I thought he had scraped together all the Koreans in the Washington metro area and had enough for a church! I had no idea of the number of Koreans in the area or the profound impact they would have on our life for the next five years.

During the interview process, it seemed clear the Lord was leading us here. How did I know that? The answer is two-fold. First and foremost, we had a strong peace about the situation. The longer we staid, the crazier it seemed (neither of us had ever attended a church that operated in a foreign language, the church was in trailers without heat, often there was no running water, etc.) yet through all of this, we had a strong peace in our spirits that this was what God was calling us to do. Secondly, the logic slowly began to add up. I knew I was called to ministry, and here was an opportunity to 1- start straight into ministry right out of college, 2- not just be a youth pastor but to basically get to preach every Sunday and “run a small church,” 3- have seminary completely paid for, and 4- get what I had never thought of: cross-cultural experience. The only thing that was missing was that we knew in our hearts that we were called to all people, not to Koreans only. We told the pastor that in the parking lot of Friendlys on Cherry Hill Rd. I don’t know why this didn’t bother him, but he said it was ok, and we agreed to come.

That church worked well for just over two years until God moved us yet again. How did I know God was moving us this time? This one was a bit easier. I returned from our winter retreat (which had been a great experience) to be met by one of the parents in the parking lot. He shook my hand, nodded sadly, and in his broken English said “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Apparently on the weekend we were gone for the retreat, the church had completely split and all of the parents of the entire youth group had left the church. This left the church with 15 people, two full time staff and only 2 kids in the youth group (the pastor’s daughters). Needless to say, it was pretty clear that God was doing something at that time. I began to pray fervently that God would open another door, especially because I had only one more year of seminary to go, and I wanted to stay in Maryland to finish.

I really didn’t want to do another Korean church for several reasons. 1- I had heard and observed that the senior pastors were often jerks, 2- the language barrier was severely frustrating, 3- I didn’t like the idea of the parents isolating themselves from their kids at church, and 4- they often lived in a Korean “bubble” not wanting to integrate into the culture to which they had immigrated. Especially since Paula and I have been called to all people, doing another Korean ministry wasn’t what I had in mind. Nevertheless, this blog entry is about how God leads in my life, not about what I want out of life.

Interestingly enough, during my time at the first church, I had a few dreams. One of them was to plant a church. I had even taken a church planting class. The other was to take up running. Oh, and I have always dreamed of picking a town in the “best places to live in the US” and moving there to raise a family. This little aside would interestingly come into play later.

In God’s providence, there was only one church that seemed remotely interested in my resume, and that was Philippi. I hated the thought of another Korean church (for the reasons listed above), but it seemed that God wasn’t going to be so gracious to me. In my pessimism, I came to the interviews at Philippi ready to prove to God that this situation couldn’t work. Much to my surprise, God knocked down my objections one at a time. First, Pastor Song was the opposite of a jerk, so that took care of opposition number one. Secondly, Philippi is more of a 1.5 generation church, so many people spoke English, and I didn’t feel as much of a culture/language barrier. Thirdly, I wasn’t being asked to do youth ministry, but rather an inclusive college/adult English ministry. Finally, this ministry was supposed to be not just Korean, but multi-cultural. I couldn’t believe my ears. God had taken all my concerns and effectively eliminated them. On top of that, I was basically planting a new church and I got to live in Columbia, MD, (ranked #2 or 3 in the country a few years ago), and there are 90 some miles of running trails all over the place, beginning behind my apartment.

What a dream come true! Again, God led in two ways: peace in my spirit and peace in the logical realms. I have explained how God worked out the logical ways, and I can’t fail to mention how the peace of God slowly grew within me during the month or so that we interviewed and candidated at Philippi. God was good, and we were excited about His provision through Philippi. Once again, I did stress to the search committee that Paula and I strongly feel called to all people, not just Koreans, but was assured this was what they wanted especially as they were looking to begin a multi-cultural ministry.

We moved here and have thoroughly enjoyed 3 years of ministry. To be sure, ministry is never easy, and it has been very difficult at times. However, the rewards have outweighed the difficulties, and overall, it has been a positive experience. God brought me here for several reasons. Some of those were to contribute to Philippi, but many of them were for God to work on me. One of the main things God wanted to do in my life was to help me learn how to get along and minister effectively with people outside of my theological persuasion. Philippi is a unique church in that it stands for not taking a position on a lot of key issues. I was really surprised by the lack of theological questioning in my interviews and the apparent openness to other positions of various staff members. However, I have found that in Christ, as long as you are committed to the gospel and refuse to compromise on that, you can have unity in the body. The greatest example I can share is of myself and Pastor Kwon. Honestly, we have never really had any semblance of a conversation due to the language barrier, but we have set side by side in staff meetings for the past 3 years and we pray for each other every week. Although I still don’t know what he does at Philippi, what he believes, or how he interacts with God, I know that I have the deepest love and respect for him and am glad to call him my brother and fellow-worker. I never would have been able to do this had I not come to Philippi. I will always treasure what I have learned through Pastor Song’s philosophy and I am thankful to the Lord for bringing me here to learn this.

Once I finished seminary and was ordained, life was wonderful! I had persevered through 3 years of school, Philippi continued to love and bless us, my family was growing, the English Ministry was growing, and life was fantastic. However, I began to feel like I was losing direction in my life. I have always been a very focused, driven person, and with seminary done, my main focus was removed. At first I tried throwing myself into further building the ministry at Philippi, but over time, began to be more and more frustrated. Because one of the foundational principles of the church is unity, it is very difficult to maintain high standards, focused vision, etc. because if you do these things, you will naturally lose those who aren’t willing to go along with the vision, etc. In many ways, I was running up against a wall, and I found myself increasingly frustrated with the direction of the church.

Now this is the point in the story where everyone jumps up and says “so that’s the real reason you are leaving” and that’s where I shout out emphatically “NO, keep on reading!”

Over the past year, I have wrestled greatly with the frustrations I have felt about the slow progress the church is making on nearly every front (the building, holiness, administratively, etc.). However, as I prayed about it and searched the Bible, I couldn’t justify these grounds as reasons to leave a ministry. I couldn’t find them as a reason to stay either, but I knew that to leave for these reasons would be sinful. God had called me here, and I had to stay until He called me away. The problem was that as long as I was looking to leave, it meant that I wasn’t wholeheartedly fulfilling my calling to God and was living in sin, even as I stayed. So it became clear to me that God was calling me to stay and endure, even though I couldn’t prove that Biblically with a verse. I kept begging God to change my heart, to lead me away, to change the situation or something. Above all, I kept asking God to show me a Bible passage where someone knew they were called to do something else, but remained in a tough situation instead. All the stories I knew of were of people forsaking everything to follow Christ, and it seemed that the best thing to do would be to forsake the frustrations and leave. I knew that was wrong though because on the EM side, there was constant growth, awesome things happening, and God was clearly at work. (I heard rumors that He was at work on the KM side as well, but not knowing the language, it was always hard to tell what was going on….this has always been one of the frustrations of cross-cultural ministry: you can’t experience the good times with them).

Finally, on Friday morning, Jan 4, during my personal prayer time, God hit me with the passage I needed. It hit hard, because it was the sermon I would be preaching on Sunday, Jan 6. It was the story of Jesus teaching in the temple when He was 12 years old. His mom and dad rebuked Him, and His response was “didn’t you know I needed to be about My Father’s business?” Nevertheless, He went back to Nazareth and submitted to them for 18 years. When I realized that the ideal thing for Him was to stay in the temple, but that He submitted to His parents instead, God nailed me and told me that I was to do the same thing. Yes, I was beginning to have different desires about greater holiness, more accountability, clearer direction and priorities, but God was asking me to submit to the situation He had placed me in. It was at that moment that I finally gave into God and decided I would stay at Philippi without trying to leave.

One thing I have forgotten to mention is that in my life anyway, you don’t get the summers off between semesters. In other words, as soon as I pass one class in the Christian life, God seems to immediately advance me to another.

You should also know of some of the “dreams” that had begun to swirl around in my heart. One was to be closely mentored by a pastor (which would have to take place in an all English church, where I could observe weddings, funerals, etc.). Paula said I needed a pastor that would kick my tail because I was getting lazy in my personal integrity and in my doctrine. Secondly, I really don’t want to rent for the rest of my life, but the house prices have continued to rise just as fast as my salary, always staying just out of reach. I also began to dream of slowing down, and of really working on a team with a clear common goal and direction. As I explained above though, on Jan 4, I gave all this up, and began to plan for the next several years at Philippi.

On Jan 7 we left to go to Peru, a whole other blog entry in itself, but I knew that God had clearly called us to go on that trip. I wasn’t really sure why we had to go, but I knew that we did. The entire time I was there in August with the team, I had a strong sense in my spirit that I had to return and bring my family. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was being called to Peru as a missionary or for another reason, but I knew that I would be back with my family. I didn’t know it would be within six months. However, through the fall, especially through some of the sermons I taught, I realized that I needed to go in January. God opened the doors for us to do this, so we went in faith, having an idea that God would work through our trip, but not really sure what He would do.

God did some great things on the trip. The first thing He did was to confirm that we weren’t called to be missionaries to Peru. Because I loved the team unity of the missionaries there, I had an inclination to go joint them. On this past trip however, I was able to discern this was a selfish motive and not one from the Lord. Secondly, God laid it on Paula’s heart to resign her position as CM director. It had been taking a toll on the family for some time, and we tried to justify it as service for the kingdom, but while being in Peru, we realized it wasn’t a sacrifice God wanted us to make. He called Paula to be my wife and a mother to our children, and that must be what she focuses on now. For that reason, she resigned as soon as we returned to the States.

During our time there, the missionary’s wife happened to mention that her church was looking for an associate pastor. Since I love churches so much, I asked her a lot of questions about the church, not so much for my own sake, but because I love knowing what God is doing in other churches, and I like to be able to offer advice, pray through problems and rejoice when great things are happening. As she began to describe the church, though, I began to realize that in many ways, it sounded like it would be a unique fit for my gifts and needs. I didn’t begin the conversation with that in mind, and I tried to put it out of my mind, but as the week progressed and we all talked about it more, I was more intrigued.

Paula and I went for a walk in the streets of Trujillo and talked about it. We concluded that we were content to stay at Philippi, but that this new church was posing an interesting problem. I was frustrated, because I had finally come to peace with staying at Philippi and was now confronted with another option. I really wished I hadn’t heard of the opportunity. However, because we believe that you should always be open to the Lord’s will, we decided to send a resume.

How do you know if you are open to the Lord’s will? This can be a hard question to answer, but honestly, I believe that God makes His will very clear. Our responsibility is to knock on all the doors we see and then just see which doors God opens. If you don’t knock, the doors won’t be opened. With that in mind, I realized that it would be easy for my resume to be rejected (I had sent out 4-5 resumes in October when I was discouraged, and didn’t even get a response from most of them…VERY discouraging!!!). So I sent a resume while I was still in Peru.

Within a week, we had exchanged multiple emails, questionnaires, etc. and had scheduled an interview. Over the past two months, God has just continued to open doors there and close doors at Philippi. What do I mean by that? Well, let’s go back to the two ways God leads you: through your spirit and through logic.

In our spirits, both Paula and I felt more and more at peace about the move. Though we opposed it at first, and our first few visits there were rough, the more we prayed about it and the more we experienced it, the more we came to feel not just a peace about the situation, but also a confirmation in our hearts leading us to make the move.

Secondly, God generally acts in wise ways, and we can draw on wisdom. Everything about the move slowly began to make sense. With the new baby, we have to get a larger home, and the price of housing there is significantly less. With the boys getting bigger, we need a home with a basement, etc. My gifts are reaching their limit at Philippi. Philippi needs a Korean-speaking EM pastor to fully assist in the ministry here, and I am realizing that in many ways, my personality and gifts are not what the church needs in the near future. I am way too driven, and need to cut back and rest more. Paula keeps telling me I will die by the time I’m 30, and I am beginning to agree with her. The problem is that there are so many awesome things at Philippi to throw myself into, and I get addicted to the ministry. This sounds good at first but is really unhealthy in the long run.

I think God brought me here to fulfill a task, and I can only hope that those in the AM have grown as much as I have. I have gained tremendous insights into the way God works, His word, etc. and I have tried to faithfully pass them on to each of you. I have learned a great deal from Pastor Song, Ray Fox, and many others. Above all, I have greatly benefited by joining each of you on a part of your spiritual journey. I pray that by God moving on you will be challenged to continue to follow Him faithfully every day. We are all pilgrims, constantly on a journey. We are also servants of the most high God and serving Him faithfully is the greatest thing we can do.

Never forget that I will always consider myself to be your pastor. Feel free to call or email any time. I still meet with people from my old church (I met one guy this morning at 6:30am in Silver Spring, so I will make time for each of you as needed). Please keep me and my family in your prayers, and know that we will continue to pray for you. Stay faithful!

In Christ and for His Kingdom,

Robert

Earning forgiveness

I sinned last night. Not surprising; I sin all the time. There’s a standard pattern that plays out after I sin as well. I feel bad. I resolve to not sin any more. I ask God for forgiveness. I take steps to make sure I won’t sin again. And then, of course, I do. I sin again. The same sin. Once again. And now I’m feeling even worse. I mean, Christ died for that sin, and here I am abusing the blood of Jesus Christ. God must be really disappointed in me. I resolve to try even harder not to sin the next time. And then I do. I’m such a despicable person. I mean, I claim to love and follow Jesus with all my heart, and I claim to be free from the power of sin through my salvation in Christ Jesus. Yet I continue to sin, again and again.

All this sets up a pattern in my life where somehow I feel I need to earn my forgiveness. I mean in life, you can’t just go up to someone you have offended and expect them to forgive you on the spot. Especially if you have offended them multiple times in the same way. You have to change. You have to stop doing that offensive thing that you do. But you try to stop. And you fail. And you fail again. Trying harder doesn’t seem to work, and the guilt just keeps increasing. Is there a solution?

Romans 7:24-8:1 has a promising solution: “Wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” Deliverance from sin comes not through our efforts and actions but through Jesus Christ. How does this work? Well, we should know that we can’t overcome sin. We were born dead in sin, slaves to sin, controlled by sin. The only way we receive deliverance from this death is through Jesus Christ. Most of us understand this point as it relates to our salvation. However, we often forge this point as it relates to our sanctification, or the purification process that takes place after salvation.

Most people agree that Christians should gradually grow and mature and sin less as their spiritual life progresses. However, for many of us, we believe this process is something we initiate, we empower, we guide (with the help of the Holy Spirit, of course). This contradicts Biblical teaching! It is God who began a good work in us and will continue to perfect us until the day of Jesus Christ, and it is He who is at work in us to do according to His good pleasure. When we commit our lives to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and accept His offer of forgiveness from sin, restoration of our relationship to God, and salvation from eternal death, He not only gives us these things but also begins a lifelong purification process. We continue to sin along the way, but despite our fallen nature, Christ’s plan will prevail, and He will complete the work He began.

Since He knew we would sin, He reminded us to freely confess our sins and receive His forgiveness. He promised He would be both faithful and just to forgive our sins every time. What we often forget is that Christ’s death already earned our forgiveness. As His children, we have already been forgiven. We simply have to claim it. We understand this principle when it comes to salvation, but in the daily process of confession and forgiveness, Satan leads us astray through guilt motivated works trying to earn God’s forgiveness. We simply need to confess our sins, and then joyfully embrace the forgiveness so freely offered in Christ.

In no way does this give us license to sin, in fact, Paul vehemently denied this (Romans 6:1-2). We should strive each day to live in a way that pleases the Lord, but we shouldn’t be striving to atone for past sins. This negates the power of the blood of Christ, for it is only Jesus Christ who can atone for sin and offer forgiveness. This beautifully drives us back to the cross each day as we seek forgiveness and seek to press on for the glory of God.

Pastoring in your own power

I was reading Jeremiah during my alone time at Atlanta Bread Co yesterday when a verse jumped off the page at me. 5:31 says: “The prophets prophesy falsely, And the priests rule by their own power; And My people love to have it so. but what will you do in the end?”

This struck me as a really powerful thought. Too often today pastors rule in their own power. The non-denominational movement has created scores of churches that have no oversight. Many churches today have no oversight by anyone but those who attend the church. While dangerous, this would be acceptable were it not for the fact that often God is not allowed to rule over the church either. This is the greatest treachery. We must never forget that the church is His church, not ours, and that we as pastors are only undershepherds, working diligently for the master. We are to rule faithfully according to Scripture, not according to our desires.

Unfortunately, one of the things that makes faithful ruling and pastoring difficult is that according to Jeremiah 5:31, God’s people love it when a man rules apart from God’s oversight. Note that it’s not just people in general that don’t appreciate God’s oversight, but God’s own people. How sad that these people are the ones who reject the Lord as their ultimate ruler and elevate man to the status of God. We see this daily as mega-church pastors create huge followings with nothing more than self-help fluff. Why do people flock to such teaching? Simply because it caters to their sinfulness. Without realizing it, many well meaning pastors fall prey to Satan’s deception and teach in their own power instead of faithfully exegeting and applying the Word.

My prayer is that I may remain faithful, never ruling in my own power. The last line of v. 31 offers a somber assessment: God’s people love it this way, “but what will you do in the end?” We must always keep eternity in perspective, for it is at the end that we must give an account of our lives and our ministry. The end of a people who elevate a false prophet, a priest or pastor who rules in his own authority, or any other thing that rejects the Lordship of Christ is an end of great sadness and despair: the very end we are called as pastors to prevent. I must remain faithful to my calling, for He who called me will be faithful

Beginnings

I have been thinking for some time that perhaps I should begin blogging. For the most part, I see it as an online journal, a place to write out my meditations. However, if God leads others to read it and be blessed, so much the better. I hope to regularly post on numerous elements of the Christian life, all under the concept of renewing your mind so as to test and approve God’s good pleasing and perfect will